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Why do readers dislike FMCs so much?
As a romance writer, I often find that no matter how carefully crafted a female main character (FMC) is, she frequently becomes the target of harsh criticism. Whether she's portrayed as shy and sweet or strong and assertive, FMCs seem to be scrutinised far more than their male counterparts. This phenomenon is so frustrating for authors, and perhaps indicative of deeper societal issues.
The other day, I was rewatching the Amazon Original series Rings of Power. When it finished, I searched for the trailer for Season 2, and as I clicked through various links and articles, one title in particular caught my eye: ‘Why is Galadriel so unlikeable in ROP?’ Feeling curious, I hopped straight into the comments section (where else lol!) and guess what? I found a massive amount of criticism aimed at her character for being too strong-willed, aggressive, arrogant, unpleasant, fierce, domineering and driven by a need for revenge (to name a few). It got me thinking – why is it that female characters are often quick to draw annoyance for traits like strength and determination, while their male counterparts are often celebrated for the same qualities?
What do readers want in a romance heroine?
That is the big question and one that’s almost impossible to answer. I fell down a rabbit hole, investigating just how female characters are perceived and critiqued in literature and media. Here are some of my findings!
Double Standards Faced by Female Characters
In romance novels, FMCs are often criticised for a wide range of traits. Shy and sweet characters are dismissed as lacking personality, while strong and assertive ones are labelled rude or overbearing. Does this dichotomy reflect a broader societal issue where women are judged more harshly than men?
Idealisation of Male Characters
Male leads in romance novels are often idealised, which skews the perception of their actions. When a male character makes a mistake, the narrative – and the audience – are more forgiving. Women’s mistakes come under much harder criticism and it can be much more difficult for them to claw their way back into the reader’s favour.
The Impact of Criticism on Writers and FMCs in Literature
Authors face significant challenges when writing female characters. We have to navigate this minefield of double standards and societal expectations while trying to create relatable, complex characters. The backlash against FMCs can be disheartening, making it difficult for writers to strike the right balance.
Back to that question: What do readers want in a romance heroine?
Below, I’ve added a list of 120+ responses from Reddit users from a variety of threads about heroines in romance novels. It’s quite an eye-opener, and, as you’ll see, one person’s meat is another person’s poison! Perhaps writing a universally popular FMC is impossible, but one point seems to rise frequently to the top – be consistent! Make the FMC’s flaws and actions suit her goals and personality. Other than that… Well, make what you will of what these Reddit users have to say.
A lot of readers can relate to FMCs who are insecure. Not everyone who is loud is confident, and some quiet people are the most confident.
A lot of stories will make women strong and independent in one scene, and then overly dramatic and needy in the next.
A smart FMC knows when to fight and when to choose ‘flight’; she is someone who won’t be a burden by becoming a pain in the ass and doing the contrary of what is suggested to her.
An unlikable FMC is often an interesting FMC.
An unlikable heroine (generally) has much more depth.
As a neurodivergent woman with a strong personality, I never found most female characters in media relatable and struggle to connect with more stereotypically ‘likeable’ ones.
Badly written passive FMCs tend to make me feel bored and a little frustrated with the author. Badly written active ones make me way more irritated because there’s a difference between not really caring about the FMC and actively disliking her.
Basically all the issues I have with FMCs is their lack of competency. I just want someone I can root for who makes smart decisions and kicks ass.
Characters that are blatantly rude and morally grey are actually likeable to me
Cringy girl-boss heroines aren’t the feminist flex writers think they are because they’re behaving exactly like a privileged white hero. We’re so used to it in dudes that it can be annoying, but not a deal breaker, but when it’s a woman acting that way, we notice how shitty it is.
Do-gooders and shy wallflowers are boring to me.
FMCs get judged harsher than MMCs in general.
FMCs labelled feisty, snarky, sassy, badass, etc. all end up with the same unpleasant flaws. Needlessly stubborn, prideful to a fault and relatively bitchy.
Half the time the sassy characters are lacking in personality, because the author only ever has them be rude and they never get any other development.
I 100% think a FMC can be strong willed, independent, and witty without being rude, unnecessarily loud/obnoxious, and almost villainous.
I absolutely love ice queens, bitchy mean girls, and vain heroines. I find them much more interesting!
I actually prefer shy heroines because I relate to them more
I am looking more for books with level-headed, kind genuine women, rather than mouthy obnoxious ones, who think they have a right to be mean because of whatever baggage they have endured prior.
I am not a fan of ice queens. I can’t stand that every ‘strong’ female character is a Black Widow assassin type.
I am not often attracted to nice women.
I avoid books if the FMC is labelled or described as ‘feisty’ because they are usually too argumentative or unlikable for me.
I can’t find a single book or series that DOESN’T have the FMC described as Feisty or Sassy or Bold, and then in the books goes on to be the most immature, idiotic, rude, bitchy, just plain mean and shitty person you could imagine. All while justifying their behavior by some truly horrible traumatic event in their background.
I can’t handle a docile character.
I can’t stand FMCs who seemingly bring nothing to the table besides maybe being attractive and rescuable, but the MMC is still madly in love with them for some reason.
I certainly don’t mind a spoiled brat heroine.
I do appreciate a quiet heroine when I find one. As a quiet person it’s nice to see a heroine like me!
I don’t enjoy is stupid ‘innocent’ heroines.
I don’t like ‘Not Like Other Girls’
I don’t like it when they are insecure and don’t do anything about it.
I don’t like it when they are snarky without reason.
I don’t like quirky FMCs.
I don’t like rude, annoying and unreasonable FMCs.
I don’t like unlikeable and prickly heroines.
I don’t love books where characters make rash/ridiculous decisions or are hateful to people/the other MC.
I don’t mind shy and timid heroines.
I don’t necessarily like ‘unlikeable’ heroines, but I do like ‘real’ ones.
I don’t need heroines to be ‘relatable’.
I don’t need to have a ‘likeable’ FMC (I.e., someone I’d want to be friends with in real life) but I do need FMCs that feel like real people.
I feel like a lot of FMCs lack the ability to relax. So many are written as sarcastic or impatient, then when they fall in love, they’re guarded and rude.
I feel like FMCs are often judged harshly.
I find the too good and naïve ones pretty boring.
I get so irritated with smart-mouthed women in books who are so sassy they make everyone around them (and the reader) uncomfortable.
I hate FMCs who are very ambitious but are always shown progressing because they are sleeping with the boss or they fall in love with a billionaire and forget about the whole career thing.
I hate it when heroines are whiny, hate other women, are ridiculously stubborn about dumb things, say ‘we can’t ever be together’ about a guy while leading him on, pushing him away when she still wants him, or testing him in any manner.
I hate the overly perfect complex type.
I hate when FMCs come across as loud, rude and obnoxious women who are so naïve/ignorant that they think constantly whining and insulting people will get them the respect they want, when all they would have to do is treat people with respect
I hate when the MMC goes on and on about how domineering or reckless or stubborn the FMC is, when he has only had one short interaction with her at that point. And often literally nothing she did in that interaction portrayed any of those things he’s harping about. Her real sin is that she was confident and/or didn’t fawn all over him.
I have nothing against shy FMCs, but I prefer someone feisty in a good way – not rude.
I just finished up reading Packaged Husband by Noelle Adams and the FMC is a spoiled, uneducated, self-confessed airhead who does very little outside of shopping and taking care of her looks. But she’s also unfailingly kind, completely self-aware and desirous of change even though she doesn’t know how to achieve it. If she was a bit part in another romance novel, she would have been instantly dismissed as a vapid bimbo not worth our time. But to me she was a wonderful character because in order to change, she had to step all the way out of her comfort zone and make it work.
I just want FMCs to be interesting.
I keep coming across childlike, eccentric heroines with simplistic attachments to cutesy things, often animals.
I like an FMC who feels real. She has a goal and convictions and hobbies outside of whatever conflict goes on outside of the world. Integrity!
I like an FMC who is well-rounded and responds to situations like a normal rational human being.
I like an unlikeable heroine where the book acknowledges she has faults.
I like difficult and bitchy heroines who make choices I don’t necessarily like.
I like FMCs full of rage, or not afraid to express negative emotions. Not to be edgy, but because that’s genuinely how they feel.
I like FMCs that are only defiant to a degree that makes sense taking their safety into account, are intelligent enough to not demand things without knowing all of the details, are consistently aged/capable, and have good chemistry with the MMC.
I like FMCs that I can identify with as a real functional human woman. They are complex and multifaceted. They are earnest, and caring, and also competent and strong, but they can also be clumsy and nerdy and traumatized. She’s confident but still vulnerable when she wants to be.
I like FMCs to have understandable goals, worries, frustrations, quirks, etc. I’m pretty open to most FMC character types as long as what they do in the book makes sense given their background, demographics, and context.
I like FMCs who are sexually confident – comfortable with their bodies, knowing and being able to articulate what they want from a partner, etc.
I like FMCs who are strong and independent, but also not afraid to take the help offered to them and can easily work together with other characters to achieve their goals. I also like the characters who know what they want and go for it, instead of being so wishy-washy about it when we know they will end up with the other character(s).
I like my FMCs to be flawed, but I find most readers want these flawless women who always do and think the right thing.
I like quiet, dignified FMCs and I love loud, ‘obnoxious’, rude FMCs
I like reading heroines who are allowed to have the same complexity and flaws heroes do – as a society we tend to cut men so much more slack than women for bad behavior.
I like rooting for the underdog.
I like seeing a heroine develop and change with the story. It always really bothers me when the FMC is written as having perfect traits and reactions in every scenario.
I like when she isn’t afraid to admit that she’s wrong, but also not afraid to speak up when she’s right!
I like when the FMC is strong but kind at the same time.
I love a woman who is strong, brave, courageous, intelligent and capable, has common sense and a moral compass.
I love difficult and bitchy FMCs but ‘being incessantly rude’ is too often a placeholder for them.
I love FMCs headstrong, and not afraid to show and talk about their emotions. Someone who doesn’t shy away from standing up to the hero and comes from a place of genuine love and affection. I don’t like it when she pushes away the hero, but I like it when she calls out hero’s BS.
I love it when an FMC is mean. I don’t mean I like it when she is malicious or harmful to others, but I just never see FMCs like the MMCs that are total jerks that everybody loves. In a way, mean FMCs break out of the mould of that ‘sweet and caring’ persona that we see all the time. I hate it when FMCs are treated like doormats and are expected to stay positive.
I really don’t understand the hate for shy heroines. There are women like this in the real world and I don’t see why there shouldn’t be stories about them.
I really like when FMCs are self-aware.
I tend to avoid the plain, shy wallflower virgin trope. Most FMCs are written to be terribly insecure NLOGs (not like other girls) and high-key judgmental about other women.
I think being an FMC is very difficult role. I’ve seen a lot of readers being angry at a FMC for being too assertive, and at the same time being angry at another one for being too shy. I think there is internalised misogyny taking a role in our attitude toward these characters.
I think shy heroines, despite the growing heroines with loud personalities, still deserve to be the main characters because these timid women exist in real life.
I think the overall issue isn’t that sweet, shy heroines don’t work at all but that they’re synonymous with ‘lacking a personality’ for too many authors.
I think women sometimes judge FMCs more harshly because of internalised misogyny.
I value an adult FMC who reacts to obstacles and problems as an adult.
I view ‘feisty’, ‘sassy’, ‘stubborn’, AND ‘badass’ as red flags for immature FMCs and avoid them or quickly DNF.
I want a strong, confident, reasonable, generous, self-assured, kind heroine. Why do these traits have to be paired with judgmental, rude, inconsiderate, misinformed, etc? So frustrating.
I want them to have a sense of humor in any situation. Even in the bleakest circumstances, I love an FMC that makes light of her predicament.
I will DNF a book pretty quickly with a Mary Sue style heroine – it just isn’t realistic and if the characters aren’t developing and changing, I don’t really see the point of the story.
I would much rather read about a low-key haughty lady in a historical romance because her flaws are addressed, and she is unique, compared to all the wallflower heroines who are oddly feminist and never act like they were born noble.
I’d love to read about women who are docile, calm, and composed.
I’m craving a gold digger anti-heroine. It’s just more honest after seeing these women who ‘care’ about their integrity and independence and then allow their careers to be dependent on them sleeping with their boss/billionaire.
I’m not a fan of cookie cutter, agreeable characters.
I’m not really into the sassy, feisty, or snarky types.
I’m sick of feisty heroines.
I’m tired of wannabe girl-boss heroines who are actually just naive jerks.
Intelligent FMC’s – this does not mean that she needs to be worldly or book smart but that she has some common sense.
It bothers me that heroes can literally be kidnappers and murderers and that’s fine, but if the heroine is even a little bit difficult there’s backlash.
It drives me crazy when an ambitious woman mouths off to her boss constantly as a means of showing how she is confidant and career driven. It’s possible to assert yourself without insulting someone and if you are really ambitious, you aren’t going to be rude to someone that can inhibit your growth. It’s just really stupid.
It is hard for me to enjoy books if an FMC doesn’t have a backbone AND also doesn’t get one during the story.
It’s hard for me to like a feisty heroine. It’s equally as frustrating that a calm FMC can be a doormat; is there no in between?
It’s nice to be reminded that difficult heroines are deserving of love.
Mature, reasonable FMCs are my catnip. I can’t stand characters who are rude / mean for the sake of showing they are ‘sassy’ or ‘strong’. I find quiet calmness to be much stronger than emotional outbursts.
More often than not I’m extremely annoyed by the main heroine’s antics.
My absolute favourite kind of FMC is straightforward and says exactly what’s on her mind. So many opportunities for comedy with that kind of character and since women are taught to be social and superficially polite, it’s great to see a female character who doesn’t abide by social rules (but in a genuine way, not to be rebellious).
She can be smart or dumb, nice or mean, but the writing needs to back it up.
Shy and sweet heroines can also be ‘strong heroines’ without letting go of their sweetness.
Some character traits that may be objectively bad are actually not unlikable to me: vanity, blood thirstiness, cowardly, scheming, weak but self-aware and willing to grow, airheads, frivolous. I don’t feel annoyed when I read FMCs with those traits and also enjoy watching them grow as the story progresses.
Some of the heroines start out fully formed and the heroes are the ones who get a complex internal journey.
Sometimes I feel like slapping the ‘sassy’ FMCs because they are just plain rude in the name of being sassy.
Stop portraying truly awful behaviour as a standard that women should be living up to.
The feisty sunshine drives me crazy.
The only turn-off for me is when FMC is made overly naïve/innocent. So much so they come off as dumb.
The trick is giving the FMC enough depth for me to understand her and where she’s coming from, even if I don’t relate at all.
There’s nothing wrong with shy, quiet characters who need to learn to be confident.
There’s too much societal pressure on women to be nice all the time; the same goes for FMCs.
Unlikable heroines tend to be more active heroines. They drive the plot, they do things that shouldn’t be done, which creates more conflict, and that creates more story.
We’re in the era of strong, independent, sassy, feminist FMCs, but what about the girl-next door types? The ones who don’t demand, who don’t know what they want. Shy and delicate, not much of a backbone, soft-spoken, polite, docile?
What I hate most about the sassy rude female protagonist is how one dimensional it can be. I don’t mind reading about women who have flaws and grow over time, but it can easily fall flat and become annoying.
What’s with calling someone a badass when really they’re just a bad person?
When the MMC has been lovingly crafted but the FMC is just one of the generic ‘S’s (sassy, strong, sweet) that’s been dropped in as a placeholder.
While I like reading about the strong and sassy independent FMCs, I don’t necessarily relate to them.
Why do the Wallflowers never have to figure out how to socialise and open up?
Why is it sometimes so hard to find heroines who aren’t doormats or feisty dummies?
Your unlikable heroine may be my favourite heroine; and conversely, I dislike a lot of heroines that people love because they’re trying too hard to be likable.
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